In actual instruction, the father is obviously the "natural" one for the boys, the mother for the girls. However, it will be found at times that the mother is the better instructor for both sons and daughters until puberty or beyond. This age varies with individuals, but is usually considered to be about 14 for boys and 12 for girls. No father should interpret what is said here as freeing him from responsibility in the sex education of his children.
A good norm is: Whichever parent is asked, should answer. Who has the right to educate a child?
The Head’s Diary 30th Oct 2013 – 3rd July 2017
Who has the duty? Would the willful omission of this duty constitute a serious sin? Who or what is actually forming the mind of your children on sexual matters: You? The school? Your children's friends?
How A Happy School Can Help Students Succeed
Comic books? Obscene pictures? Have you ever attempted to find out? As an exercise in judgment, pick up any secular magazine and turn to a modern love story. Read it.
Is the heroine's physical beauty described in excessive detail? Are passionate scenes presented?
Does the author linger on such detail? Is there one incident in which the heroine disrobes or appears in a bathing suit? If so, has the illustrator selected this one perhaps passing incident for his illustration? Has the incident any real connection with the story? If not, why do you think it was introduced? Do hero and heroine marry within two weeks or less? Is divorce involved?
Is there any mention of parenthood or children? Granting even that one or another story of this kind might be harmless, could a steady diet of such reading be healthy? In the same magazine count the advertisements. How many say in every line: "Romance, glamour, passion, can be had if you buy, wear, use, this product"? Consider this cynical quotation from a story in a popular magazine: "Burlesque isn't dead, it's only been transferred to magazine illustrations. Judge the last movie you saw in the light of its effect: 1 on young children; 2 on adolescents.
Will these influences be the ones that educate your children? How can you combat them?
If you have adolescent girls, do you face any problems in persuading them to choose modest costumes, bathing suits etc.? If so, has their judgment been warped by their surroundings? How can you help them to judge what is modest? Can anyone but a father or mother really supply all parental instruction? In cases of necessity who may supplement the work of parents?
Confessions – Chapter Ten
Fleege, Urban H. Further reasons against instruction in the confessional can be found in the Code of Canon Law, Canon , 2, cf. Many people are surprised to hear that sex education must be gradual. They think of fulfilling this task in one "heart-to- heart talk. This is against good common sense, for no child learns anything completely in one lesson. When a child of six asks what makes the train go, do you try to explain all the mechanical working of a steam engine? No, you answer simply, "Steam," and let it go at that.
He was the pastor of a fashionable Brooklyn church—and a ladies’ man.
Again, the same subjects, to a large degree, are taught in grade school, high school, and college, simply because human beings learn gradually. The process is the same for sex education, but with an added reason. The child's sexual passions must not be awakened too soon.
It must always be remembered that:. It is foolish to try to teach the young child some things, such as higher mathematics, because he will not be able to grasp them.
It is foolish to teach him the facts about sex too soon, not only because his understanding is weak, but because he may learn enough to experiment with his own passions. Do not object that this premature awakening is impossible.
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- Jacks Pennies (Jacks Tails Book 1).
Statistics are to hand that would make you shudder. Another reason for making sex education a gradual process is the danger of shocking a child. The nature of emotional shock must be understood. A shock is produced by a sudden and disagreeable surprise. We are shocked, for example, at the unexpected announcement of a good friend's death. We are not shocked at a pleasant surprise, though we may be amazed.
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Again, if a disagreeable fact comes upon us not suddenly, but gradually, we may be saddened, but we are not shocked. To take examples: we are shocked when a well-mannered child suddenly and convincingly cries, "I hate you"; we are pleasantly amazed when a moderately talented child suddenly takes all honors; we are saddened at a child who sins seriously, for to anyone who realizes the weakness of human nature, sin, however disagreeable, can never be a surprise.
Now, shock for a child in sexual matters usually has the two elements, of sudden surprise over a disagreeable fact. For example, it happened once that a boy of nine, totally unprepared, came upon a picture series in a doctor's book explaining a Caesarian birth. Naturally, he thought it the only method of birth. He was shocked at the sudden "knowledge" that his mother had to go through a terrible operation to give him life. If the instruction and education of a child are gradual, there will be no surprise, and the disagreeableness will be lessened.
The specific approach for eliminating any disagreeable effect of such information will be treated later. A still further reason for gradual education is the nature of the child's questions and curiosity.
diary of confessions | confessions of my heart | Page 12
A child's first questions are ontological, not sexual. By this is meant that the child is interested in the world of things that exist, especially in living things. He is not sexually preoccupied.